Hey there, Marissa here. Hey, let me ask you something. Have you ever struggled with insecurity? The type of insecurity that holds you back from being your true self, from putting yourself out there and creating something that's going to be amazing, that's not going to only benefit you, but it's going to benefit your clients and it's going to benefit your family. If that's the case, then I want you to stay tuned because we're going to talk about how we need to do the internal work that transforms our external results here on the Resilient Faith Online Show. Welcome. I'm Arissa Shadwick, host of the Resilient Faith Online Show. I'm an online marketing coach and certified copywriter. In this podcast, you'll find a different perspective to the external and internal challenges we face as online content creators. Join me for some inspiration and practical tips as we create positive change online. To connect with me and my private Facebook group, go to Marissa Shadrick.com forward slash community. Hello, hello. Yes, this is a very special episode. We're going to be talking a little bit about the internal work that we need to do as entrepreneurs, and we are right around the corner of the holiday season. But the content that I'm going to talk about today is relevant all year long. And I'm going to share a little bit of my own personal story just to give you a little bit of perspective because insecurity was something that haunted me for a long time. And I was able to crawl out of that dark, deep pit. However, I don't think anyone just completely overcomes insecurities. I think different situations can cause us to feel a little insecure, but we don't like to use that word. We use the word mindset and confidence, but let's call a spade a spade and let's pluck this root out. Is that good? Good. Because I think we need to call it what it is, recognize it, and get rid of it. Now, sometimes insecurity comes from comparing ourselves to other people or maybe being too much in isolation as online entrepreneurs. We work alone a lot unless we've developed a team, or maybe we struggle a little bit with perfectionism. Now, I did do an episode, episode number 16, why done is better than perfect is not the right mindset. And that has to do a lot with excellence, not so much with perfectionism. Sometimes people mix the two up, and I believe we should do everything with excellence as if we are doing it onto the Lord. But perfectionism is rooted in fear. Excellence is not rooted in fear. Excellence is something that we do because it's connected with our values and we pursue that to be able to serve people well. But perfectionism is rooted in fear, and that can trip us up. Or perhaps we feel a little insecure because we're not sure what to do next. There's a lot of reasons, and the reasons can vary, but let's focus on how we can move forward, regardless of where the root came from or where it started. Let's talk about how we can renew our mind. So insecurity is really, at least for me, from my perspective and my struggles, it's that constant internal noise that is negative, that's always questioning what you're doing and what you're thinking and your identity and your value and whether you're enough. It just goes on and on and on. So again, why this happens, there could be various reasons. But I know everyone deals with some form of insecurity. It could be relationship insecurity, it could be body insecurity. People don't feel like maybe they weigh enough or they weigh too much. It could be age insecurity. As people get older, they become more aware of their age and then they begin to compare with other people who are younger. So there could be age insecurity, or it could be reverse. Someone that's very young may feel insecure because they're not as old as mainstream entrepreneurs. So it could go both ways. It could be career insecurity, financial insecurity. You feel like maybe you should have accomplished more by now, and you feel like you don't have enough of a nest egg in the savings account. So there could be financial insecurity, world insecurity with all the things that are going on in the world. But the thing that I want to talk about today is the one thing that you can change today if you're willing to look at it for what it is. And that's when it comes to your value, because you have great value. All of us have flaws, all of us make mistakes, but you have unique value. You were created uniquely, and no one is like you. You have special gifts and talents and you have insights and experiences that are unique to you. So you bring that to the table. And it really bothers me when people that are so rich in value don't see it for themselves. And that was my case. I didn't see the value that I had, I only saw flaws. And if you are listening and you feel a little insecure or you don't have the confidence to move forward, know that you have value. You are important. You are instrumental in creating positive change in the world. And I don't want that value attacked ever. And so, as you listen, I want you to really understand that you need to protect what God has created, and that's you. You need to protect it, defend it, stand up for it because you have a purpose. All right. So, how does this affect our lives or specifically as entrepreneurs? Well, it will affect us because we will have missed opportunities. We won't take advantage of opportunities because of the self-doubt and the insecurities that we're struggling with. We can be critical of ourselves, and worst of all, we could be very critical of others. If you notice many people that are critical of others, it's because they're insecure and so they're trying to feel better about themselves. So they could become very critical of themselves, but worse, they could become critical of others. It can also be hard to be authentic and real. So people will hold back and play it safe and not really show their true self. And then they live with anxiety and with fear, and that creates stress. So it's not a good thing at all. And I know because I lived this for so long. One of the things that I really started focusing on when I was trying to, you know, pull the root of all this insecurity and that was really rooted in fear is to renew my mind and catch every time I was thinking something that was negative or was not serving me well. And that's biblical, and that helped me a lot. And I focused on that daily to be able to take whatever thought I had and literally dissect it and figure out if it was rooted in truth or if it was rooted in fear, which is typically imagination. And we begin to imagine these worst scenarios. And so our imagination is not working for us in a healthy way, it's creating these negative scenarios that put us in fear. So I would take every thought and figure out if it was rooted in truth or if it was a lie, and then deal with it one thought at a time. It was a long process. I love this quote by someone that I had never heard of before. His name is Frank Outlaw. He's a business person, but this quote is amazing. I'm sure you probably heard this quote before. It's as follows watch your thoughts, they become words, watch your words, they become actions, watch your actions, they become habits, watch your habits, they become character, watch your character, for it becomes your destiny. That is a very rich quote. That's an amazing quote. A lot of insight in that. So what I chose to do was to take every thought and literally, as the Bible says, take captive every thought and bring it to the obedience of Christ. I would take every thought, and if it did not serve me well, if it was negative, if it was rooted in fear, you know, I would just flip that thought and I would align it to truth. And that helped me slowly recognize that pattern that became a habit and break that habit. And as I was going through that, I journaled a lot. I wrote a lot, and that helped me uncover a lot of other truths. So it started having this domino effect. And then I started really facing my fears. As I said in another podcast, public speaking was a fear. So I invested myself into a public speaking program and I faced that fear. Writing was a fear that I had. I faced that. All of those things, if I felt it was fearful, I mean, with the exception of skydiving, uh, that's fearful for me. But jumping off a plane, uh, no, that doesn't sound exciting to me at all. But other things that most people, right? The things that most people do every day, and for whatever reason, we are paralyzed by that. And we need these skills to be able to operate our business. It's something that we need to develop. Then I chose to address those things. And as I wrote, I started writing blog posts and I started writing articles around that. And it was just very helpful for me to document my process and document some of the things I was experiencing. And it was healing to just write. And I became a real fan of writing. I loved writing and I published articles and did other things like that. But one of the things that I did during that season as I was coming out of it, and I think God was trying to help me see the internal beauty, right? Because we don't necessarily want to say that we're beautiful, but let me just say it for you. You are beautiful. And our internal beauty really shines when we surrender and with open hands just say, God, work through me. And his light begins to work through us, and we begin to see him working in our lives and helping us have the faith and the trust and the resilience to take that next step. And during that process, I wrote this poem that I thought would be appropriate to share for this season, and it's called Menagerie of Love. So I'm going to read it to you. And this is this is a little bit of the application in story form that I want you to understand and walk away with. So it's called Menagerie of Love. A talented craftsman worked with glass and fire, making colorful animals for all to admire. With patience and skill, he formed and shaped, not sure how long each would take. His collection grew from his meticulous hands. Uniqueness was all part of his plan. One by one on the windowsill to cool, displaying their beauty like a sparkling jewel. He labored again and all through the night until a fawn was created to his delight. He loved his creation that wasn't quite right, and imperfection was seen, but only in the light. When the fawn discovered its imperfect leg, it cried in sorrow, Cast me far away, I beg, convinced that by day it would draw a great stare, night's fleeting refuge left only despair. When the sun finally rose at morning's dawn, reflective lights danced from the little glass fawn. Effervescent colors of lavender and blue gave this masterpiece a dazzling hue. People stopped in amazement, each turned ahead, in perfection dimmed by inner beauty instead. The fawn gained wisdom from the sun above and found real beauty in this menagerie of love. In that poem, that little glass figurine thought it had no value. It was not perfect in its eyes. And yet, the way it was designed, the way it was created, when the light shone through it, it had beautiful colors and people loved its beauty. And I think a lot of us, because we all have some type of imperfection, we focus on the imperfection. We don't focus on the whole person. One of the things that we need to do if we're going to be online and we're going to be entrepreneurs is realize that we're going to have failed attempts. We're going to have things that don't go quite right. We're going to have maybe comments on social media that aren't very kind. And we have to realize that those are just small things in comparison to what we are walking into. We're walking into our calling, into our purpose. We're serving people, we're creating positive change online. And one of the things that I learned that was really some tough love. And I really feel it came from God that He spoke it to me in a gentle, loving way to set me free. And that was this. The whole time I was insecure thinking about myself, thinking about my flaws, thinking about imperfection, thinking about all of those things, that's exactly what I was doing. I was thinking about me. Whether you're thinking about your achievements or your deficits, when you are drawn to look inward and only inward, your focus is on self. And that, in my definition, is pride. And so when I realized that all of the things that I was struggling with, it just caused me to look internally and not look up and not look out. I thought this has to stop. And it was at that point that I had a pivotal change where I realized I don't want to be just thinking about myself all the time. I want to think about what God has for me. I want to think about what others need and how others feel so that I can serve them better. And it really helped me go on a healthier path. And I haven't looked back. It really just removed the shackles of fear and insecurity. It's a process. I won't say it happens overnight by any means, but you can begin by just being more aware of your emotional state each day, hour by hour, maybe minute by minute at times, right? But being more aware and then stopping for a second. And this is what I call the power of the pause. You stop for a second and you really consider what am I thinking right now? And you figure out whether it's based on truth or based on a lie. And you correct it and you align it to something that's going to serve you really, really well. And from there, you're able to begin to take advantage of opportunities, you begin to become more authentic and real with people. Those walls start coming down. You're more approachable, and you're going to have that confidence that others need to see. If you don't have confidence in what you're doing, why should someone else have confidence and sign up for something that you're offering? So that's what I have for you today. I know there was a little bit of tough love there, but I really want the best for you, especially in the coming year. I would love it if everyone could acknowledge and recognize that they carry beauty within them. And that beauty needs to shine out to be able to create that positive change in the world. All righty. Well, I hope that was helpful for you guys. I know it was a little bit deep and heavy, but hopefully the poem lightened it up for you a little bit. And until next time, I want you to take care and have a wonderful holiday season. Wait, before you go, if you found this podcast helpful, subscribe so you never miss an episode. Every subscription, review, or rating means so much to me. Remember, cultivate resilient faith online to create positive change in the world.